Patrick Wilburn, 1976-2010

It's with great sadness we report the sudden death on April 8, 2010, of Lynne's son, Patrick Arnold Timothy Wilburn. He is survived by his mother, our classmate Lynne, and his two devoted aunts, Genie and Rosemary. Born on February 24, 1976 to Ed and Lynne, welcomed by grandparents Arnold and Rose Fleming and Henry and Marguerite Wilburn, he lived a life of love and happiness, bringing joy and a special zest for life in all his activities to his parents, extended family, neighbors, friends and staff of Kreider Services.



A memorial in his honor has been established at Kreider Services, Attn: Autism Program, 500 Anchor Road, Dixon, IL 61021. A celebration of Patrick's life and scattering of ashes will be held later this Spring at Franklin Park, near Franklin Grove, one of his favorite places for walks with wildlife, birds and fish. Patrick, who lived in Ashton Terrace, a Kreider group home for adults, regularly attended nature camp in the early Spring and late Fall, and even as a toddler was an outdoor kind of guy. "If the sun was out, so was Patrick." He also loved soccer, and Lynne was the uber-soccer mom always cheering him on. Lynne says he was not the most aggressive player (he was too kind for that), but he was the most determined. Patrick was also a good dancer (Aunt Rosemary saw to that), and was quite sought after at the various social events he attended, enjoying also the company of his special friend, Jenny, his companion at the workshop and on hamburger dates.

Lynne not only supported the special needs of her son, but other parents struggling to understand and cope. She counseled them saying, "It may not be a 'normal' life, but it can be a good life." Many advances have been made since he was diagnosed at age 3, but there is no cure, only help.

Patrick's extended family pitched in to teach all the little niceties and small things that helped make him such a pleasant young man--things the rest might take for granted (or never learn!). Removing the hat when entering the home; turning off lights when leaving a room; using less water to conserve; good table manners; politeness and respect. His natural sensitivity to people's feelings and emotions, however, didn't need to be taught. Lynne says it was hard to be unhappy around Patrick. He got every bit he could out of life, and he wanted you to also!

Holidays were special in the Fleming household because Patrick came home--the above photograph of Thanksgiving with Aunt Genie and Mom Lynne is an example. Preparations were being made for Easter when they got the sad news of a seizure and heart attack and all rushed to the hospital to spend his final days by his side. Patrick's last good deed in this life was to be an organ donor, and four grateful families are sharing in his life now with their loved ones. Lynne says, "I know not age, nor weariness, nor defeat. He was worth every bit of it."